I understand that Brad Pitt* look-a-likes are never going to come flocking to me like chickens at feeding time. But I never expected the type that actually DO come flocking to me to -well – flock to me.

I have recently been plagued by a slew of older balding men. And I would just like to say that this is not an exaggeration as many such claims can be. Here’s the proof:

Case 1: An older Caucasian gentleman came to the front desk to deliver something. As he was signing in, he said, “So, what do you think of old balding men who drive convertibles.” I just laughed. Nervously.

Case 2: An older Asian man came in to visit an employee. He was very friendly and introduced himself and shook my hand. I thought, “Aww how cute! He’s so excited to be here.” Wrong. Later on, that employee told me he “liked me.” Uhhh …

Case 3: I was in a bar in the city full of 20-somethings socializing and whatnot. The one and only person outside of my circle of friends who ends up talking to me? Yep, you guessed it: older, balding Italian man. doh.

And yes, they even do it in cyberspace. Case 4: Yesterday I checked my email and got an email saying that someone had messaged me. I was like “Who the fuck is M_____?” ** I click on the profile, and sure enough: a 32-year-old, Middle-Eastern(?) balding man.

I’m 23, dammit! Maybe there’s some merit in the fact that I attract a wide variety of older, balding men. Oh wait, no … no there isn’t.

Sad. Sigh.

* I fully comprehend the irony of using Brad Pitt as my example because he’s like 40 now, but all I have to say to those who would point this out is : Quiet you!

**Names have been censored to protect the innocent, because, well, old balding men need love, too. They’re just not going to be getting it from me.