I am not as ‘web savvy’ as most West Coasters. I don’t get my news from Salon, but I read the New York Times every day. My progression has been such that I started out three years ago reading the Front Page and then skipping straight the the Arts section, perchance making a stop in Dining Out or checking the Hockey stats, (no… really). As of late, I am actually devouring the entire page, (with the exception of the *boring* sections, Travel and/or Fine Arts), finding myself especially drawn to the Business section. This is because I have become a corporate whore.

No, not because I’m slaving away at a top corporation, (I seem to masochistically enjoy being poor too much). This is because I have become obsessed with sucking at the tit that is nonprofit corporate fundraising, combined with my love affair with finding new and interesting ways to celebrate my Silicon Valley roots. The rush is inexplicable. Reading an article about Google and eBay’s Q1 profit margins, and how they’re inextricably linked, or how Goldman Sachs is basically a springboard to a statewide or federal office somewhere, turns me on to no end. Does that make me boring? Probably. Does that make me everything that my arts background is supposed to detest? Most definitely. Do I really care how this makes me seem towards other people? Absolutely.

So what is up? Am I slowly losing my soul? Have I lost my original purpose in life? These are the questions I now face, which, if you think about it, are a formidable replacement of my old preoccupations with looks, sex, and food. (Three things that Grace/Kristin don’t like to think about in relation to me.) I find myself obsessing over what my new prospects are for getting a quick buck. And not even for myself, but for my employer. The worst part of it is that I can’t stop. Every commercial, every pop-up ad, every product placement, and I’m immediately thinking of how to sell that company on a proposal I would make. I have truly, deeply, become a minion of Capitalist Satan. (Different from Socialist Satan, who loves me for other reasons.)

Boyfriend Dakotah is pretty close to suggesting that I move to a gay commune somewhere in the Anirondacks, and leaving all of the brown-nosing, and smarminess here in Manhattan. I feel that moving to Brooklyn is the first step on that path.

Maybe my TiVo addiction will replace my newest obsession, sit me down, give me a heart to heart, and show me the ropes of becoming a different kind of boring person.

One can only hope.