Last weekend I was sitting at a table waiting for Thai takeout and there was this older Asian woman sitting by me, engrossed in a conversation with the waitress. I’m always intrigued when I hear fluent, barely or non-accented English coming out of older Asians because I’m first generation and pretty much only accustomed to Chinglish coming from the mouth of wise elders.

Well, after the conversation died down, the waitress went to the back and the woman started eating her food. Only a few bites in she stood up and started reaching deep into the pockets of her high-waisted jeans. The aisles are narrow at Siam Chan, so when the waitress returned, the lady was in the way, and caught in an awkward position of having her hands shoved down her jeans. As people often do when odd behavior is witnessed by others, the woman felt the need to qualify her actions and continue just a bit longer.

“I’m just getting my pills out,” she said in a strained fashion.

Still, there was a struggle. The waitress had already moved on, but I’m pretty sure the woman was continuing for my benefit. Or hers.

“Ungh. Ungh.”

Okay, lady. You’re already drawing attention to yourself with your perfect English and deep digging, do you really need to add the grunts? You’re not doing yourself any favors by groaning while digging for gold. Finally, she pulled out some pills, continued to dig, and then pulled out some more. All in all she excavated roughly 15 multicolored pills. I don’t even want to know what they were for. (I totally do).

Seriously though? If you’re gonna wear tight mom jeans and pop pills in public, you might want to put them in an easily accessible place, like your fanny pack for instance. And if you insist on putting them in your pocket, can you at least place them in a plastic baggie or a container of sorts so that you don’t have lint stuck to your once glistening gel caps?