The cocktail lies
You think having sex on the beach is going to be all sexy and fun.
 Then the next morning you wake up to find sand in places where sand really, really should not be. There is, in fact, chafing, where no chafing should be.
And then you look around and realise there are piles of sand in your room from where you took your clothes off, because they had been lying on the beach in the sand while you Did Your Thang.
And then your vacuum cleaner breaks and you just give up and decide to live with it, walking like John Wayne because your ladyparts are chafed.
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Slag.