So I was down at the pub yesterday watching the football.  I’m not really a sports fan but the World Cup is exciting.  After both the US and Australia bit it, I decided to root for France.  Eh.  Why not?  I speak French and I’m uncomfortable rooting for England while living in Scotland (not that it matters anymore since they’re out).  Zidane is a good player and France are sort of a long shot since they’re all so old.  So it was France and Brazil for a place in the semi-finals. 

Anyway, there was a man staring at me from the bar.  He was cute.  He smiled.  I smiled back.  I got up to go get us more drinks.  The pub was full of French people singing and screaming (Allez!  Allez les bleus!  Allez!) so I had to squeeze past him to get to the bar.  In the process, I managed to look up at him while he was smiling at me.  Oh.  Cute.  Ok.  So I order my two ciders and a coke from the bartender and while I’m waiting he starts to chat with me.

“I see you’re rooting for France.”

“Yeah.  Er.  What?” I say.  How did he know?

“You keep cheering for them.  Loudly.”

“Oh, yes.  That.  I er…yes.  Allez les bleus and all that.”

“Are you French?”

“No I’m…no, I speak French though.  And the US are out.  Er.  I don’t really know anything about football.”

“Oh,” he said.

I then proceed to launch into a long-winded tirade about Americans not liking football and don’t blame us because we’re so far away from anything else and well, not all of us are so bad, take me for instance, I’m okay and all my American friends in St Andrews are pretty cool, although it has to be said most of the Americans in St Andrews are not cool, not really, of course most of them are rich, though I’m not a class warrior or anything, although I am kind of a socialist which I suppose does make me a class warrior, kind of in the most traditional sense of wanting to fight a class-based war, but I don’t hate people because they’re rich.

“Oh,” he said politely.  I took my drinks and went back to my seat with my friends.

Needless to say, I did not get his number.