I got myself all worked up about dumping this guy I’ve been seeing for 2 months over the weekend. I took some deep breaths, had a glass of wine, and braced myself for him to yell or cry or be angry.
I’ve never dumped anyone before. Sure, I’ve broken up with people. Sure, I’ve been dumped. But never have I just flat out dumped someone when he didn’t really know it was coming.
I found his name in my cell phone and pressed the green button. My stomach flipped.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hey,” I said, with all the gravity the situation required. “Listen, I don’t think you should come out with me and my friends tonight.”
“Oh? Any particular reason?”
“Well,” I said. Here it comes. “I don’t think this is going to work out.” I had carefully chosen that phrase so as not to blame him, or make him feel he had done anything wrong. It’s not you and it’s not me. It’s just the cosmos! It’s just not going to work out!
“Oh. Okay,” he said. “Bye.”
Rude! I got all worked up to dump you and you can’t even get worked up enough to ask me why? More clear evidence I should be single.
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Oh, Man… Awful and funny at the same time.
You sure know how to pick ‘em.