Even my body hates me (or, ESPECIALLY my body hates me)
Last week I went to the doctor, all wheezy from some asthma caused by seasonal allergies. Thinking I’d just get prescribed another inhaler, I told the doctor the issue, she listened to my breathing, and then freaked the hell out and put me on a steroidal medication to try and get the inflamation in my bronchial tubes down.
So, I guess it was worse than I thought. Oops. The unfortunate side-effect of said medication is that it compromises my immune system in a major, horrifying way, apparently. I did not realize this until Friday night a mosquito decided to make its home in my bed, eating me up. Well, okay, no big deal. Until! Yesterday I woke up for 4 infected bug bites, an infected eye, and a whole host of other horrifying problems that I don’t care to detail here (because they are FEMALE in nature and Grace is worried about what kind of ads that would generate).
Now let me state for the record that I am VAIN. I also routinely wear 3 different kinds of eyeliner. So this having to go to work with no makeup on covered in red welts like some kind of horrifying troll isn’t sitting well with me and I kind of feel like going home, crawling into a hole and dying.
On top of all that, I’m super-stressed at work, and as a consequence to THAT my jaw popped out of place after I spent all night clenching it. So now I can’t eat, my eye is swollen shut and I’m covered in infected bug bites and I’m not even wearing any makeup, which makes the rest of it 1,000x worse.
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Congratulations! Welcome to the decrepit club.
We have jackets.