Yes, at the ripe ol’ age of 26 and after eight years of living away, I have moved home. It is the sacrifice I had to make to finally get the fuck out of L.A. before my future journeys lead me out of San Jose (Sunnyvale, technically, because my parents sold their house two years ago thereby ruining my townie social life).

I have a feeling this is going to be an ongoing series of posts.

1. Ever since I moved home my fragrance allergies have been off the chart, leading me to complain of feeling headache-y and dehydrated. My mom’s natural reaction was to yell at me about not wearing a jacket and force me to take vitamin c. After debating with her about knowing why I felt decrepit her final solution was to…slip a raw onion into my room when she thought I wasn’t looking. I noticed, forgot about it, then found it again today when cleaning. Apparently she read somewhere that onions are natural air purifiers. So to breathe “clean” air or smell like B.O. that is the question.

2. I got to work from home today and before leaving for work, my mom was gracious enough to cook me lunch and then repeatedly call me until I finally picked up:

Mom: If you’re hungry, there’s spaghetti and falafel on the stove.
Me: Falafel? Did you mean to say falafel?
Mom: Yes, because you can’t eat meatballs so I used falafel balls.

Needless to say, I was not impressed, and complained later of being hungry leading my mom to say “Beggars can’t be choosy.” Which technically is true since I’m living rent free and getting free food. But still, spaghetti and falafel balls are enough to make any sane person finally get dressed and drive to Chipotle.