So, you remember the dude who dumped me who I wasn’t really dating at the time?

Now we are dating for reals. He is 11.5 years older than me, no lie, but he’s a nice guy so whatever. Age ain’t nothin’ but a number, right, or so said the late, great, Aaliyah?

Wrong.

It’s a little creepy when your new boyfriend starts referring to you as “the 7 year old [he] took to the prom.” As in, this is his idea of a laugh riot. But it’s not mine.