The New York Times is doing it.

Entertainment Weekly is jumping on the bandwagon.

Even the venerated elder statesman of the Blogeratti, Slate is sucking Michael Phelp’s dick.

I’m having a hard time with this.  I think a lot of it is based off of me not having really watched either of the last two Summer Games, and for thinking that breaking Olympic records isn’t something that should warrant the wholesale abandoning of the senses.  (It happens every year, people!)  But come on!  Everyone keeps calling the kid ‘Merman’, or ‘Part-Fish’, but I’m starting to believe that it’s all just a cover for the fact that when he switches from profile to head on, he completely disappears, which could easily explain why he’s so fast in the water.  My point being, a narrow pallete does not a pretty face make.

My mom – wise as she is – whenever the First Lady of California comes on TV, will say, without fail, ‘Maria Shriver is the ugliest woman on the planet!  Ugh!’  This is how I feel about Michael Phelps.  I almost want him to grow back that porn stache so I don’t have to look at his meth mouth ever again.

Too harsh?