Monthly Archives: October 2008

The dog who chipped my tooth died

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My mom just told me Skipper, a family friend’s dog, died and I’m sitting at my desk kind of tearing up because dogs are assholes like that. Skipper was a fox hound or terrier of sorts, very active, very ready to go. I was playing with him in high school and he was so cute that I wrapped my arms around his neck for a hug. He flipped out, barked, and slammed his head so hard into my chin that the impact left bits of powdered tooth on my tongue. I remember thinking if it stunned me, he must have been in more pain, as I only had one chin back then and it was pointy. The chip was small enough for a Taiwanese dentist to laugh at me for wanting to get it fixed (it would have been free) and big enough for an L.A. dentist to suggest getting it fixed (and whitened). By nature he was a hunting dog, so who could blame him for going into attack mode when a gangly Chinese robotically tried to show him “love”? We knew the end was near but what kills me is one of the brothers was unable to make it home in time to say goodbye. Le sigh. RIP Skipper the tooth chipper. :(

The Work-A-Day World

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Let me walk you through my routine at work as I believe everyone can agree it’s pretty Sad Sigh worthy.

I get in to my office and unlock my door. It’s true, I have my very own office with a door, and yet it doubles as a storage closet and so I have to essentially stumble over boxes in order to get to my desk. Once I sit down, I take a good, long look at my inbox and decide of anything needs my immediate attention. Usually, there is something. This morning, for example, I arrived to see that a co-worker had forwarded me an email he had initially sent the copywriter without realizing she was on vacation. Of course, it needs my immediate (emphasis his) attention. It involves “coming up with a clever title” for a trip to Romania and an intro paragraph telling travelers what they can expect from the trip (I am tempted to write something along the lines of “Enjoy tourist cheesiness like you’ve never seen before at Dracula’s Castle and thrill to the discovery of the loss of your petty cash as gypsies pick your pockets in other parts of Transylvania”). I don’t know why he can’t do this himself as I have never been to Romania and he has been multiple times.

So, I start thinking about that when 8 emails from my boss arrive, each with 1 individual website update, mostly small, all entirely unnecessary, and ALL flagged with the “IMPORTANT!!” flag. So I work on those for awhile, go back and write an intro paragraph and then I spend the rest of my day in one of two ways. Either I a) am ferrying myself around the office fixing stupid tech things that actually have very little to do with tech support and a lot to do with plain, annoying ignorance (“How do I empty my email?” “Why isn’t this Excel formula working?” “How come my iPod isn’t syncing up with iTunes”) or b) I give up and spend the rest of the day reading Go Fug Yourself praying for Bai Ling to make my day worthwhile and tell everyone I’m “working on projects” and stop answering my email.

When the clock finally runs out, I get home, I check Craig’s List, I discover there are no well paying jobs in New York I am qualified for, and then I cry myself to sleep because I have done nothing – literally, nothing – for my job that qualifies as actual progress toward any attainable goal. Whenever I try to push a project forward, I end up exchanging emails with my boss all day as to why a new website is necessary or why we really should not have our servers in an unventilated, tiny room where they have previously melted some of the wiring. Then she stops replying and two weeks later when I ask her if I can move forward with the project, the cycle repeats itself.

True story.

I live to entertain

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But that doesn’t mean I lead a life intended for your entertainment. It just happens that my life blunders are entertaining to others, and I just keep on living for some twisted reason. I had lunch with my friend Michelle last week and though my weathered brain cannot remember the topic of conversation, I do recall her laughing and saying something like “Oh my God you’re life is so sad!” to which I responded, “Why do you think I have a site devoted to it?” She, of course, is not a reader of this cursed blog.

Last Thursday I was on my way to have lunch with Kristina before heading up to San Francisco for a fancy night at the W (courtesy of Abe’s fancy firm) when I walked out of my apartment without my bag, my wallet, my keys (car and house), or my cell phone. I did, however, have my laptop. The short of it was, I called my mom, her friend answered, laughed at me for being on the porch and basically refused to notify my mom of the situation because my mom was on the other line. After 40 minutes of sitting on the porch with my headset on in 85 degree weather and my burning laptop on me, I finally called my mom back and her friend finally got her off the phone. Over an hour after stepping out to the porch of doom I was finally rescued – minus the Google lunch, plus a little heat stroke. Then I sat in the car for 40 min waiting for Abe in SF.

The following is a typical conversation of my mishaps:
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High on the pathetic meter

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I work from home and despite what you all might think, it’s not as great as it sounds. Sure, there are a few things that are awesome like having no commute but the past two weeks have left me feeling a combination of gross and stir crazy. I’m also prone to confessing the not so glamorous sides of working from the comforts of my home(s).

Coworker I barely know: You’re lucky you get to work from home.
Me: Yah, I know but it has its drawbacks.
Me: For one, I really want to go out and get a tasty burrito – but then I’d have to get dressed.
Coworker: Ha. That’s the most awesome thing I’ve heard recently.

Beyond the pathetic nature of my slothy appearance I think the one thing that gets to me most is the lack of exposure to the outside world. I literally suffer from extreme cabin fever and when the work day ends, I can’t believe how slowly time drags because I’ve been home all day. Before, lunch would break up the day, but now I tend to eat at home because of the whole rolling out of bed to work and using my lunch to shower, keeps me from seeing beyond four walls. Also, not having any distractions means for the most part, I’m actually working all eight hours non-stop. WTF!

Then there’s the whole insanely uncomfortable, non-ergonomic workstation I have set up because there’s no space in my room for working – but that’s a whole other issue, and not one that is new in my experience with this company: http://sad-sigh.com/2006/06/13/early-retirement/

For now, I stop, as I’m literally in front of my work computer and need to take a break.