Monthly Archives: October 2008

SMRT

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Sigh.

Another relationship down the toilet.

And why?  Did I display an appalling act of drunkenness that sent my mature, older boyfriend running for the hills?  Did I cheat with an 18 year old?  Did I go on and on and on about how awesome New York City is and how I am trying to move there as soon as possible causing him to bash me over the head out of complete boredom for a topic I have talked about non-stop for years?

All of these things are possible and well within the scope of things I have done in past relationships.  And yet this time I did none of them.

No.  Instead, I received the following email after not hearing from my boyfriend for a week by way of kiss-off:

Honestly -
You are likely the smartest person I’ve ever dated. At least, if there were smarter, it wasn’t apparent.

I learned true ambivalence each time we got deep into a subject; enthralled at being able to have such a discussion, scared that I would never be able to hold my own in it.

That’s the truth. And yes, it is my own ego causing this problem within me. But you deserve to know.

So apparently I am un-dateable because I am too smart.  If anyone would like to let me know where I can get a cheap lobotomy, come find me.  I’ll be the nerd in the corner discussing the merits of Boethian philosophy as applied to post-modern theory.  Or the person sticking an ice-pick up her nose.

Oh, San Jose. What chaos you have wrought in my life!

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I am the Scottish flag in the conversation below:

This is a phenomenon I was discussing with Gracie yesterday, and then it came up in conversation with my coworker. Not only did San Jose saddle me to the most boring adolescence this side of Amish country, but it also saddled me to a life of always knowing more than everyone else about computers EVEN THOUGH I HAVE TWO DEGREES IN LITERATURE. This is a conversation with my co-worker, Anne, who is the exact same age as I am. There is no reason why I know these things and she doesn’t…EXCEPT SAN JOSE. That’s all I can think of that makes us different since I certainly didn’t learn this shit at Sarah Lawrence. I grew up in the fucking Silicon Valley with nerds at high school who built their own computers and she grew up in Alaska and now I am doomed to be the default tech support person at every job I ever have that doesn’t keep an actual IT person on staff.

Well, I say NO MORE. After I am done at this job, I will be moving to a new one where I play dumb. I will not try to be helpful in the least, I will just shake my head sadly and pound on the keyboard and pretend I do not know how to insert a picture into Word (!!! Seriously, my boss asked me to do this for her yesterday).