Sad.Sigh Down Under - Part 9
11.25.08 - Queenstown - ADVENTURE CAPITAL OF THE WORLD!!!!!
Dudes. It is EXTREME down here in Queenstown.
Or at least that’s what the marketing would have you know.
I awake at 5:45am, (blerg), to head out for my skydive, (glurg), only to learn that it has been canceled on account of the weather. Curse you, RAAAAAAIIIIIIIN!!!!!!! (shakes fist) Yes, folks, it has rained 4 out of the 5 days we’ve been in New Zealand. Why? Because God Hates Me, that’s why. For more evidence of this, please see further down in the post when I talk about my ‘Paradise Found’ journey.So… I’m already up at 7:00am, with nothing really to do until about 1:30, so what do I decide to do? Blog. (SAD!) Folks, I have officially spent more of my vacation with you guys than I have with hot Kiwis and their rugged outdoorsy, mustachioed ilk. I should shoot myself.
Even more with the shooting? This ‘Paradise Found’ tour that I did in the afternoon. Billed as a scenic 4WD tour of the areas surrounding Lake Wakitipu, including a number of LOTR locations, I was kind of ready for a bit of relaxing, seeing beautiful scenery, and generally nerding out. Little did I know that we’d have the spawn of Satan on our trip. One girl from our tour, (who shall remain nameless), decided that she would ask our driver/guide to stop the car and open the windows for her/let her out of the car every 5 minutes so she could take a picture of the next ‘awesomely beautiful’ thing. List of awesomely beautiful things: Sheep. Cows. Plants. Sunshine. Water, (any type). Rainbows. Horses. Mosquitos. Bees. Rocks. I’m not kidding here. And whenever we weren’t being asked to stop, we were treated to an endless sermon about how we were all extremely blessed to be here, and being given these gifts by God. The thing was, many of the things that we saw were indeed very pretty, and some of them were actually awesomely beautiful, but the endless prattle and lesson in Christian Theology may have been a bit of downer. I couldn’t even enjoy the LOTR shots that we were treated to, (they were practically ripped right out of the movie).
What’s even better is that when our awesome guide, Mike, took us to a cafe at the end of the day to treat us to coffee, the subject of conversation somehow got on the topic of careers and I told them that I used to be an actor. Upon finding this out, God Girl gets very excited and tells me that a good friend of hers is an actor, but, and she wanted to pick my brain on this, he was only getting offered ‘Homosexual roles; you know, in homosexual movies.’ The massive battle that played in my head was probably pretty visible to everyone else at the table, but, (and God, you owe me for this one), I manned up and refrained from punching her in the throat.
Nighttime - Not much to Sad.Sigh about, because we had a lot of fun. Went to a bar called Minus 5, in which it’s minus 5 celsius, and everything is made of ice… you know… an ice bar. Was delicious, and I didn’t get any ice shards in my eye, (mainly because the shards couldn’t find my eye). Really the only sad thing of last night was that I’m really starting to like our ‘Day Song’. Every Contiki tour has a ‘Day Song’ that functions as a running theme song to get people pumped up in the morning. And then the tour leaders make sure to play it at night at the bars we go to. Ours is ‘All Summer Long’ by Kid Rock. I know. You can hit me when I get home.
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