A txt msg convo

Sad-Sigh fanbase – all 6 of you – Let me transcribe for you guys a text message conversation I had with my roommate, the illustrious J. Lopez this weekend.  Please note that I received the first message shortly after she arrived in West Palm Beach for vacation.

J: Fractured foot.  Have cast.  Spent my day in the hospital.  Woohoo

D: NO.

D: You in fla?

J: Yeah.  But Broke it in new York and sucked it up til I got here.

D: Omg!  How??  Your parents w you?

J: Stepping off the bus at lga.  Felt it pop and almost passed out.  I was alone but now am with my grandparents.

D: When do you arrive on mon?  Need me to pick you up?  How’s frettina’s brow?  (Frettina is my nickname for J’s perpetually-worried girlfriend.)

J: I arrive at 830.  I think frettina’s going to pick me up.  You’re welcome to make it a party.  And yes… I think I just gave her white hairs.

Fast forward to today…

J: Glurg.  Flight delayed.  Also, why are people blind to wheelchairs.  I’ve almost been trampled on 5 times.

D: That’s the saddest thing i’ve ever heard.

J: I wish someone could take a photo of me.  Sad sigh.  Hahahhhahahaa

D: I’m transcribing this entire convo for sadsigh.

J: Almost got trampled 7 more times.  Bitches.  Just pushed myself 5 feet with one leg.

D: You need to document all of this for posterity.  You know i’m reading these aloud to the office.

J: Can’t take pain pill without drink.  I wonder if the jetblue lady would get me a drink if I waved my crutch at her?  Hahaha

J: Wheelchair grazed by cleaning cart.  Did you know that there’s a website called 1-800-wheelchair.com?

J: Oh thanks for making me laugh.  Now I look like a hysterical person in a wheelchair!

D: Crazy wheelchair lezzie!  Btw, i left roasted veggies and taters in fridge.

J: Awesome , I’m hoping to be home by 11.

D: Guh.  Want me to come pick you up?

J: Thanks.  It’s all good…. Frettina is picking me up.

J: So awkward.  A little girl is staring blatantly at me.

J: I knew it was only a matter of time.  ” mommy, is that a girl or a boy?  It looks like a boy but it can’t be because I see earrings.”

D: Haha! Sadsigh material.

3 thoughts on “A txt msg convo

  1. *hugs broken foot person*

    People ignore people in wheelchairs CONSTANTLY, and people on crutches; however, this is awful – not only to HEAR your foot pop but then suck it up for a plane ride.

    I couldn’t do that.

    I am a WUSS.

    Of course, I applaud people who can.

    But… :(

  2. LOL! Hilarious. I’ve had a little kid stare at me too and say to her mom “he looks like a boy but talks like a girl!” oh, how i love hate crimes by children.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>