Sad-Sigh fanbase – all 6 of you – Let me transcribe for you guys a text message conversation I had with my roommate, the illustrious J. Lopez this weekend. Please note that I received the first message shortly after she arrived in West Palm Beach for vacation.
J: Fractured foot. Have cast. Spent my day in the hospital. Woohoo
D: NO.
D: You in fla?
J: Yeah. But Broke it in new York and sucked it up til I got here.
D: Omg! How?? Your parents w you?
J: Stepping off the bus at lga. Felt it pop and almost passed out. I was alone but now am with my grandparents.
D: When do you arrive on mon? Need me to pick you up? How’s frettina’s brow? (Frettina is my nickname for J’s perpetually-worried girlfriend.)
J: I arrive at 830. I think frettina’s going to pick me up. You’re welcome to make it a party. And yes… I think I just gave her white hairs.
Fast forward to today…
J: Glurg. Flight delayed. Also, why are people blind to wheelchairs. I’ve almost been trampled on 5 times.
D: That’s the saddest thing i’ve ever heard.
J: I wish someone could take a photo of me. Sad sigh. Hahahhhahahaa
D: I’m transcribing this entire convo for sadsigh.
J: Almost got trampled 7 more times. Bitches. Just pushed myself 5 feet with one leg.
D: You need to document all of this for posterity. You know i’m reading these aloud to the office.
J: Can’t take pain pill without drink. I wonder if the jetblue lady would get me a drink if I waved my crutch at her? Hahaha
J: Wheelchair grazed by cleaning cart. Did you know that there’s a website called 1-800-wheelchair.com?
J: Oh thanks for making me laugh. Now I look like a hysterical person in a wheelchair!
D: Crazy wheelchair lezzie! Btw, i left roasted veggies and taters in fridge.
J: Awesome , I’m hoping to be home by 11.
D: Guh. Want me to come pick you up?
J: Thanks. It’s all good…. Frettina is picking me up.
J: So awkward. A little girl is staring blatantly at me.
J: I knew it was only a matter of time. ” mommy, is that a girl or a boy? It looks like a boy but it can’t be because I see earrings.”
D: Haha! Sadsigh material.
*hugs broken foot person*
People ignore people in wheelchairs CONSTANTLY, and people on crutches; however, this is awful – not only to HEAR your foot pop but then suck it up for a plane ride.
I couldn’t do that.
I am a WUSS.
Of course, I applaud people who can.
But… :(
LOL! Hilarious. I’ve had a little kid stare at me too and say to her mom “he looks like a boy but talks like a girl!” oh, how i love hate crimes by children.
Children is bitches, man. Children is bitches.