Author Archives: Dennis

About Dennis

Dennis eats babies. He then pulls them directly out of his belly and puts them back together, like an erector set. He then gives them to Grace. Who eats them.

Sports Nerd

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I watch too much hockey.  Today I found myself watching a game between that yellow and gold Boston team and that team that plays in Newark.  What are they called?

Anyway, point being… I’m a big ol’ homo, so I shouldn’t be this obsessive about sport, particularly about Canadian sport.  I realized this when I was listening to my new Lonely Island CD on my way to the gym, (where I watched hockey, natch), and a song came on that pretty much summed up my feelings on the subject.

Oh yeah, and I just spent the last hour reading recaps of every single game that was played today.  I’m that cool.

A txt msg convo

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Sad-Sigh fanbase – all 6 of you – Let me transcribe for you guys a text message conversation I had with my roommate, the illustrious J. Lopez this weekend.  Please note that I received the first message shortly after she arrived in West Palm Beach for vacation.

J: Fractured foot.  Have cast.  Spent my day in the hospital.  Woohoo

D: NO.

D: You in fla?

J: Yeah.  But Broke it in new York and sucked it up til I got here.

D: Omg!  How??  Your parents w you?

J: Stepping off the bus at lga.  Felt it pop and almost passed out.  I was alone but now am with my grandparents. Continue reading →

Oh Meme-oh, oh my-oh.

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So, I Wikipedia’d Meme yesterday, specifically looking for the definition of an internet meme.  Suffice it to say that it led to one of the shameful Wiki Death Spirals that happen once in a while, (you know it… when you start looking up one thing on Wikipedia: Lexicon of Everything True, and then it leads to clicking on a related link or term, and then another, and another, and somehow they always lead back to the US Senate for me).

This particular Wiki Death Spiral went from meme (cultural ideas, symbols or practices passed along in a viral, and evolutionary manner), to internet memes (the hamster dance, &c), to ‘All Your Base Are Belong To Us‘ (I… have no words.  YouTube it.  Spread the meme).  Needless to say, when AYBABTU came out in the early part of the decade, me and many other 19 year-olds thought that the internet could not possibly surpass this genius creation.  This was before Wikipedia itself.  Before blogging, (read: Sad.Sigh), before YouTube, before the Book of Face.  Hell… I’m pretty sure this was even before Muffin Films, (GOD.  Remember those??).  Needless to say, the internet has far exceeded my meager expectations.  (Although, I’m sure we all miss Audio Satellite.)

The point being, I’ve had the techno version of ‘All Your Base Are Belong To Us’ stuck in my head for the last 26 hours, and would like it out, please.

Like Tree Trunks

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For those of you not living in the greater LA or NY areas, Barney’s, that bastion of fancy clothings for liberal elites, hosts a semi-annual warehouse sale in which gay things like suits, scarves, designer jeans, and men are on steep discount.  I mean steep.  We’re talking 80%-90% here.  That being said, when the suit that you have your eye on starts at $2,500 in the first place, 80%-90% off starts to seem less like a huge steal, and more like a month’s groceries.  This, however, certainly does not stop me from spending money I do not have.  (Hey!  The President asked me to, so who am I to refuse?  Plus – it gives me the chance to flash my sexytime Barney’s Card.) Continue reading →

Sad.Sigh Down Under – Parts 10 and 11

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Happy Thanksgiving everybody!  It’s my favorite holiday, and I found myself actually searching all of rural New Zealand for a turkey, some mashed potato casserole, cranberries, and a pumpkin pie.  To no avail.  It was sad.  But, alas, it’s no longer T’Giving, so, Sigh.

11.26.08 – Queenstown – ADVENTURE CAPITAL OF THE WORLD!!!!

The moniker is their’s and self imposed, so I feel obligated to shout it as loudly as I please in my sarcasto-blog. Continue reading →