About Dennis

Dennis eats babies. He then pulls them directly out of his belly and puts them back together, like an erector set. He then gives them to Grace. Who eats them.

Sad.Sigh Down Under – Part 9

Posted on November 25, 2008 by Dennis

11.25.08 – Queenstown – ADVENTURE CAPITAL OF THE WORLD!!!!!

Dudes. It is EXTREME down here in Queenstown.

Or at least that’s what the marketing would have you know.

I awake at 5:45am, (blerg), to head out for my skydive, (glurg), only to learn that it has been canceled on account of the weather. Curse you, RAAAAAAIIIIIIIN!!!!!!! (shakes fist) Yes, folks, it has rained 4 out of the 5 days we’ve been in New Zealand. Why? Because God Hates Me, that’s why. For more evidence of this, please see further down in the post when I talk about my ‘Paradise Found’ journey. Continue reading →

Antipodean Slang

Posted on November 24, 2008 by Dennis

Are you tired of seeing me type ‘Antipodean’ yet? Well too fucking bad.

Here’s the layout:

Antipodean slang word:

Approximate English meaning:

Why it makes me Sad:

Let’s go! Continue reading →

Sad.Sigh Down Under – Parts 6,7 and 8

Posted on November 24, 2008 by Dennis

Hi Dudes. Sorry for my absence. I was in the mountains/on a lake w/o access to the internets, which was probably the most Sad Sigh thing of all. (Or rather, the fact that I was constantly bemoaning the lack of internet access instead of enjoying the breathtaking scenery was probably a bit more Sad Sigh.)

This is only half of what I need to post, but we’re in Queenstown for another 2 days, so I should be able to catch up soon. (Also Sad.) Continue reading →

Sad.Sigh Down Under – Part 5

Posted on November 19, 2008 by Dennis

11.19.08 – Bondi

That’s pronounced Bon-Dye, you Yankees.

In the morn, prior to boarding the free shuttle from our Central City hostel to the one in Bondi, which is a suburb of Syndey on the beach, I needed caffeine like a mother, and went straight to the… you guessed it, Starbucks. The reasoning behind this American superiority and consumerism is that is nigh impossible to find a decent cup of coffee anywhere else in Sydney. You can only get cappucino & other espresso drinks. When you ask for coffee, the typical response is ‘what kind?’. This has resulted in me being undercaffeinated a lot. Boo.

So, we boarded the shuttle, (really, a rickety VW Eurovan), and headed toward the Bondi YHA, where, of course, being a beach community in a beautiful country, it was cloudy. Sigh. Given that we had some time to kill before we could actually check in, I finally called AT&T and had those assholes switch my service over. They had to go through the whole credit check including asking me awkward questions about my past.

After we’d checked in, eaten, and relaxed a bit, we took a walk to the beach. Bondi, as you’ll see by the picture, is very much like Santa Cruz, except everyone is beautiful, and there is a dearth of white dreads.

$The famous Jamie Lynn Spea- sorry, D\'Andrea$

Continue reading →

Sad.Sigh Down Under – Part 4

Posted on November 18, 2008 by Dennis

11.18.08 – Taronga Zoo, Oxford Street/Darlinghurst

Rachel, Jamie’s friend from The JC was supposed to leave to head back to the States this afternoon. However, before she was to do that, we decided to go to the Taronga Zoo, on Sydney’s North Shore. Jamie, who’s been to 167 zoos whilst she’s been here, (including world-famous Australia Zoo of dead-via-stingray Steve Irwin fame), opted out on account of her general lameness. Continue reading →

Sad-Sigh

Because misery loves company.

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