Author Archives: Dennis

About Dennis

Dennis eats babies. He then pulls them directly out of his belly and puts them back together, like an erector set. He then gives them to Grace. Who eats them.

Jerks.

Posted on by
7

To whom it may concern:

I find it disconcerting that I take the time and energy, after a severe amount of writer’s block, and a rare lack of personal time caused by excessive dating, that the people who begged me to write 4 posts in one day, who shall remain nameless, do not care to comment on said posts.  I view this as a slight against my character, and a violation of my rights as a blogger.  Since it is late, and I am tired, please visit here for the dressing down that you so truly deserve.

My apologies to my roommate for recycling some material.

You’re all douches.

Sincerely,

DT

Ahhh! Bugs!

Posted on by
1

I’ve actively avoided going into the saga of my bedbug debacle here on Sad-Sigh, mainly because it would take up 300,000 posts, and has already been blogged to death.

However, I think it’s sad, and perfectly sigh-worthy, when, as soon as I’ve gotten rid of the bedbugs, I go to a project at East River Park, and get bit to shit by vicious bird-sized mosquitoes.  I now look like I’m covered in boils.

Boo.

My Good Friends, the Lehman Brothers

Posted on by
2

So, Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch, AIG, and WaMu are all big sponsors of ours at work; this week has definitely not been a great one for job confidence.

My favorite of all of these companies to work with has definitely been Lehman Brothers.  I’ve had a great relationship with all of the people in their Philanthropy team, and I was actually quite depressed throughout the first half of the week after the bankruptcy announcement.

Which leads me to ask – when did I become so invested in the corporate world?  Since when is it okay for me to count major financial institutions amongst my best friends?  I find myself consoling everyone I know that works in the banking world, and doing much commisseration and drowning of sorrows.  What’s next?  Taking AIG out to get hookers and booze because the government has been up their ass all week?

Let’s hope not, because I hear that AIG gets really crazy when they’re drunk.

CBD – Update V

Posted on by
6

Went on my first Crazy Blind Date last week.

It was fun.  We met at Flatiron Lounge, (a butt-ass expensive bar in the Flatiron, natch), and we shook hands, got a seat at the bar, and I got a Scotch.  Usually a signifier of a good evening.

Here’s the thing.  I’ve already pretty much come to the conclusion that Asian Dudes just don’t do it for me, but I’d thought I’d be open minded, and keep them on my criteria list.  While this wasn’t a huge mistake, it certainly wasn’t the best idea as, upon meeting the dude, I thought, ‘Oh… this isn’t going to work’.  This was further conflated when he proceeded to start talking about his parents, (w/in the first 10 minutes), and just how Asian-y they were.  This was followed by soliciations of information about Millie and Sing, my own gay brother, my theater company, (he was an actor, another thing that I’ve sworn off), my coming out history, and the words ‘well, I should just marry you now’.  (My reaction: *nervous laughter* ‘Awkward.’) Continue reading →

The Reality of Excitement

Posted on by
Reply

So, I was walking home from the gym when suddenly I realized that the construction on the North Side of Newtown Avenue between 31st Street and 30th Avenue, (don’t ask, Astoria is full of contradictions), was nearing a close and they had reopened the sidewalk.

My initial, and very emphatic reaction was:

Oh.  My.  God.  The North Side of Newtown is open again!

Let me add some context.  I am a creature of habit.  Therefore, every Saturday and Sunday, after vacuuming and sterilizing my apartment, I take the exact same route from my house to the gym. Continue reading →