Sassed by a slowpoke

I’ve only recently begun listening to music on my iPhone, once on the train, and twice yesterday while walking around on my usual quest for food. I’ve also just discovered the Genius option and yesterday I picked an Alicia Keys song as the catalyst for my Apple-induced playlist as I walked towards Whole Foods. Having already walked around extensively while sweating profusely in my poorly ventilated jacket earlier in the day, I was hesitant to walk at any sort of pace that would make me sweat. Plus, I was listening to Alicia Keys, and she does not make one want to pick up the pace.

As I walked, tuning out the world, I noticed this guy walking slowly somewhat ahead of me. He was older, walking with a limp, and wore a fanny pack. I decided it would be rude for me to brush past him, so I just minded my business and we basically started walking side by side. At that point, I decided enough time had passed to make it impossible for me to go faster without it being obvious that I was trying to get away. No need to make a decision though, as the guy, despite my headphones, remarked loudly and proudly, “I’m keeping up with you!” I gave a polite chuckle. “We’re walking at the same speed. But I can’t go faster because of my heart.” I didn’t know what to say, so I kept walking next to him. We reached a corner and I made like I really wanted to stand at a Don’t Cross light even though I wanted to continue around it like him. When I looked and didn’t see him walking, I realized he had sat down at the bus stop. The light was nowhere near changing, so when I determined he wasn’t going to turn around to see me, I hoofed it past the bus stop for half a block to the next light. And broke into a slight sweat.

Heat waves hate me

If heat waves loved me, they would occur on their own time without inconveniencing me in any manner. Unfortunately, heat waves hate me so they’re pretty into making sure they’re going to happen wherever I’m going. After the Pacific Northwest I thought nothing could be that bad – but of course hot weather had to make my visit to LA all that more miserable. Nothing like putting on sunscreen only to immediately sweat it off! In some ways I think it’s preparing me for the heat of Africa, but I’m pretty sure the end result is going to be me dying of heat stroke, with God laughing at me by previously making me miserable under the guise that it would train me for intense weather when in reality he just hates me as much as heat waves do.

A sad reminder

You know you’re really not wowing anyone with your body when your doctor yawns and doesn’t bother to hide it while giving a breast exam. Not that excitement would have been an appropriate reaction.

Thanks for breaking my back, MUNI!

I was riding the MUNI train today thinking about how much my back hurt just barely pressing up against the seat when the train came to a sudden halt, causing me to lurch forward, then slam back into the seat. The Chinese man next to me went, “Ai yo!” and several people clamored in their seat, murmuring about how that was a hard stop. I remained silent (or stoic) just cursing myself for having such a decrepit back, while also wondering what people would do if I very emphatically yelled, “OW THAT REALLY HURT!” Because seriously, it did, but at least we didn’t slam into another train especially since I was foolishly sitting in the second car which probably would have gotten mangled.