An attempt to exercise

About a month ago I generously received a free bike to use at my leisure in San Francisco. I was excited because that meant I could a) get around without having to walk everywhere, b) save money by not taking the bus, and c) get some exercise that doesn’t involve me walking uphill 30 min to my car. Today was the first day I tested the bike out after securing a dorky looking helmet. We only rode a couple of blocks before I went over the manhole that Abe avoided, and BAM, the basket flew off the bike. Just to clarify my ride, I received a cruiser that belonged to my friend’s mom. It has no gears, I have to back pedal to brake, and yes, it has a basket that was previously held on with a bread tie. Because I was so unaccustomed to riding a bike, especially one that operates like the kinds I rode in elementary school before I got a real bike, I forgot how to brake and stopped myself by dragging my feet on the ground in order to pathetically pick up my basket. The easy part about making biking happen again is securing my basket with one of those bungee hook thingys (which I’m sure I’ll somehow snap into my eye). The hard part will be convincing Abe that I’m not just some cruiser riding hipster holding him back while struggling to keep my basket on and struggling up tiny inclines with no gears, so he’ll ride with me again.

Homeless Tendencies

In the past two days I’ve been accused of being homeless by two different people. First, I was ridiculed by Abe for the way I looked in a borrowed, oversized army jacket – that I agree with but it was freezing and windy as hell, and I’m a sensible lady. I don’t make disproportionately muscled boys take off their shirt in public to give me to wear as an act of chivalry (Asians on Market). I dress myself with muscled boy’s jacket before leaving the house.

Second, I was accused of living like the homeless people in “The Soloist” which I haven’t seen to dispute, and it was such a specific insult. Of course, this came from my mom who was harassing me about the messy state of my room which has several half unpacked bags from recent trips. As she walked down the hall she yelled that I might as well get a shopping cart to store and push all my stuff with. This is why my mom’s not allowed to go to the movies. I’m concerned because we’re about to watch Doubt.

Hot weather sucks

One of the bad things about not having an office to go to is being unable to escape the daytime heat whenever there’s some horrendous heat wave that strikes without warning. There’s nothing worse than being trapped at home all day wearing nothing but a wife beater and underwear, slaving over a hot stove all the while thinking about all the things that could be done if it weren’t so gosh darn hot. Blech. It’s not supposed to be like this, people. San Francisco is supposed to be foggy and windy, damnit!

The East Coast made me a hungry beast

When I was actually out there, I was never hungry because I was constantly full of delicious food ranging from homemade pancakes from scratch, potato pancakes, tasty NY pizza, mac n cheese, and even a couple not-so-bad Mexican meals. In Baltimore, we cooked fantastic Mediterranean food, tipsily made a mushroom and artichoke lasagna, and made apple turnovers and banana pudding. I also ate Coldstone and Taco Bell because that’s what you do in the suburbs.

What’s the problem then? Well, I’ve returned home now and am not constantly inundated with food, nor have I been seeking stuff to eat throughout the day at delicious restaurants that don’t really exist in townieville. At home with the parents, the fridge is filled with vegetables that I don’t have the gumption to prepare on my own, without Emily as my cooking partner. Reliant on my dad for food, I am left with eating on a normal schedule, and otherwise left fending for myself.

After 2.5 weeks of gorging, my stomach and waistline are shrinking back to normal size. But in the meantime, my stomach is hungry. All the time. To the point where I demanded food from my dad an hour before he normally cooks dinner, and he told me to eat something else first. So I had toast. And a piece of cake. And I was still starving and ate each dish as they made it to the table. Today, i woke up hungry, had a microwaved pizza for “brunch” and have been starving at several points throughout the day. While traveling, I wondered what it felt like to feel hunger. Now, I’m just waiting for my next meal. Conclusion? Time to go back east.

Baltimore scared me

Tonight, Baltimore scared the shit out of me not because of the creepy people roaming the trash-filled streets at night, not because of the squalor portrayed in The Wire, but because some insane beetle decided out of nowhere to fly into the room I’m staying in, hover towards the lamp while loudly buzzing it’s creepyass beetle buzz. It started to go towards my laptop so I jumped out of bed, looked around at all the things I couldn’t hit it with, and grabbed Interview magazine out of my backpack to roll into a swatter. The beetle started gaining momentum as it seemed to reenergize in the light so I panicked and whapped the beetle with the magazine towards the desk. Too scared to check on it immediately, I heard some slight ticking before it went silent enough for me to tell Abe I almost crapped my pants. He suggested I continue my search for the beetle, I calmed down a bit, looked under the desk and saw/heard nothing. Figuring it finally died after my mortally-wounding blow, I got back on the bed with the intention to Sad-Sigh how crazy I must have looked (the blinds are open) when I leapt out of bed doing my best not to scream the way I scream when things fly at me.
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