I was at the gym tonight, minding my own business running on the treadmill. The new cardio machines are equipped with little TVs, so now I can sweat like a pig while watching Family Guy (sweet!). The good thing about this feature is that you get so engrossed in TV that you forget about what you’re doing and your surroundings. The bad thing about this feature is that you get so engrossed in TV that you forget about what you’re doing and your surroundings.

Anyway, I was running along, with the earphones in, watching the episode where Peter wishes for no bones when this cute guy from my building pops up from behind me and says, “Hi!” with a disarming grin. Naturally, I almost fall over because a) I was truly startled, b) I’m clumsy in general, and c) hello, disarming grin!

Continue reading →

I am a receptionist at a tech company. Because I fear one day turning into a fat, lazy slob, I try to go to the gym during my lunch hour, which leaves me little time to eat. I’ve taken to eating lunch at the front desk and thought little of it because many people here eat lunch at their desks.

Today, as I sat here eating my sandwich, an employee walked by taking a HUGE bite of his sandwich, and clumsily holding a soda in the other. Said employee is actually quite attractive (much more attractive than me), however that visual was wholly off-putting.

I eat lunch at my desk a LOT– the front desk. There are security cameras monitoring the lobby where I sit … at all times.

I just dropped mayonnaise-y sandwich filling on my dry-clean-only pants …

… near the crotchal area.