Category Archives: Decrepit

Ailing in my old age

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I’ve been exercising regularly for the past couple of months or so and have kept up my minimum of 8 minutes a day strength training for 60+ days now. One would think this regimen would have led me to better health or what not. Instead, it’s served as a reminder that I’m old as fuck. My left knee has been consistently bothering me for, oh, nearly a month now. A simple walk can lead to discomfort that I can only imagine is caused by probably having zero cartilage left in there. Last night, I somehow managed to pull my butt, which is becoming a more regular occurrence and can happen without warning. I slept poorly throughout the night because it fucking hurt. The worst part is I had to cancel rock climbing tonight because if sitting or walking hurt, bending awkwardly to find a foothold certainly ain’t gonna make it better. I’m looking into acupuncture but maybe someday Dr. Ann will physical therapy my ass (literally) into shape instead of deeming me too broken to fix.

The allergy I forgot about

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If I had a Med-alert bracelet my allergies would read: cats, walnuts, penicillin, nature, fragrances and stupid people. I’ve just remembered that I should probably add “dog snot” to the list – something I forgot about until an unfortunate situation occurred.

Yesterday, I played with Fats while peering at Townie Baby, then went to Emily’s to eat ice cream cake and play with Shu-Mai, my stay-in-bed lady companion. There was a lot of dog playing and zero hand washing. When I got home, while talking to my dad, I rubbed my eyes, knowing I shouldn’t do so without having washed my hands first. Then, they started to itch more, so I of course started to rub more. Then, they started to burn, along with the area around my eyes. The whole time I was thinking, “Why am I suddenly getting such intense allergies?!”

When I went to the bathroom to check out the situation and wash my hands it finally dawned on me that not only was I rubbing dirty hands in my eyes, but I was also rubbing dog snot all over. Remember this? Well, it wasn’t a one time occurrence, unfortunately. I must now drill it into my mind that if I’m playing with a dog, I must a) never allow it to touch my face with its nose and now b) make sure that if my hands touch its nose, mouth, whatever it is that causes burning, I must not touch any part of my face or neck unless I want this to happen again:

Bloodshot eyes

Hive eyes

Needless to say I frantically searched my room for my allergy eye drops and popped an allergy pill and frantically washed my face and hands to get rid of any remaining dog residue. The saddest part is when I went to show my dad and he told me I shouldn't play with dogs.

Breathing is exhausting, apparently

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So it’s been 445 days since I last played the Wii Fit. This time around, it said I was underweight and let me choose a goal to increase my muscle mass in order to get a normal BMI. It makes me laugh because tonight I kinda binged on all the delightful things I bought at Trader Joe’s but apparently that weight won’t register until tomorrow.

Anyway, I played about 35 Wii Fit minutes of strength training, balance and aerobics before I decided to end with some yoga. The breathing exercise told me I was a yoga pro. The next one, half moon, also told me I was doing great. However, what the game didn’t realize was halfway through, the combination of just finishing aerobics and doing deep breathing got me very dizzy. Very very dizzy. I had to lie down on my bed to keep from passing out, all the while listening to the “instructor” telling me how great I was doing.

When I finally got done feeling like I was going to pass out entirely, I stood up, and then got all dizzy again. So back on the bed I went where I pressed a bunch of buttons until it told me I lost 95 lbs (I wasn’t standing on the board anymore), met my goal and should start another one. Crazy, and stupid. When the blackness faded, I turned that shit off.

I have to say I like the exercises mostly because they teach me the right way to stretch, and I like the little games they let me play so far. Now I’m determined to keep up my Wii Fit playing because a) I paid for it and have used it three times, maybe and b) I want to unlock more games.

Winter allergy fun

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A week ago it was rainy and dreary, this week it’s hot and somewhat miserable. If I don’t leave the house, the heat doesn’t really bother me, because it’s always cold inside.

Well, the unusually warm weather has triggered all sorts of terrific allergies to deal with. I didn’t think to pop an allergy pill prior to my hike in San Mateo today because it was cold indoors when I left, so I assumed it was a cold day out. Then again, it was 8:30 am. As it began to warm up the world decided to release all allergens and attack me in the oddest ways.

1) My thighs started feeling a bit like burning while we were about a mile into the hike. I just figured, “Oh, they’re just my normal, randomly recurring hives.” But then I didn’t feel any bumps come up, and the hives weren’t in their normal spot, so I rolled up my pant legs and tried to see if there were any other bumps, like bug bites that had swelled from my scratching. Nothing. Then the itching became intense and very difficult to ignore, so for the next couple of miles, I would have to interrupt the hike (it was more of a stroll) to stop, pull up my pants, and scratch myself like crazy in front of everyone on the trail. It kept feeling like the itching was traveling up, and sure enough, it started itching around my waist. It may have been the detergent, but I’ll never know because once we started heading back, the itching went away.

2) At Caren’s place, my nose started to itch incessantly. That’s one of the more aggravating feelings in the world. Because it causes me to rub my nose like crazy, repeatedly, and nothing takes away the itch. It’s not internal, it’s external, and it’s maddening, and probably quite disgusting to watch. After a bit of that, my eyes started to itch too. I didn’t have a headache, so I don’t know if it was a fragrance, or if Caren was really harboring a basket of cats somewhere nearby. For over an hour I rubbed my nose in an OCD fashion, and really wished I had taken an allergy pill.

3) Pretty much right after I left Caren’s place, my nose stopped itching, so I assume something at her place was the irritant. Maybe she’s responsible for the thigh itch too – but I don’t want to think about that. So, I was in the clear, but still pretty miserable because it was hot as hell in my car, and hot as hell outside. When I got to Gina’s house to help her move, she flapped her blanket in the air to dust it, and delightfully released fur and feathers into the air. I think there were feathers, unless her dog started growing goose-like tufts as well as its coarse, China fur. Gina immediately realized the error but it was too late. The rest of my time there was spent sneezing and sniffling and REALLY wishing I had allergy pills on me.

Now, I wonder if I should take my doctor’s advice and continuously pop allergy pills, or if I should just suffer so I can have an excuse to blog really uninteresting blogs.

Defective Ears

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I dropped a pretty penny on some Audio Technica noise-canceling headphones for an upcoming trip. Lord knows I sure do enjoy some marathon movie watching on them flying machines, and for once I’d like to hear the dialogue of said crappy entertainment. Anyway, after much debate between over-the-ear or in-ear headphones I chose the latter and had a seriously frustrating hour of shoving the earbuds in every which way in an attempt to get them in my goddamn ears. No dice. Finally, I was able to get them in and vowed never to remove them. Then of course I tested out my iPod and almost became deaf thanks to Justin Timberlake. Woops. Audio settings can hurt. Well, the learning curve is over now, I’m pretty sure I can correctly wear my headphones maybe 50% of the time. The other 50% I’ll just be drawing attention to myself as I attempt to manipulate my ears until I either puncture an eardrum or get myself in a position where I can wedge the earpiece in place in a vain attempt to cancel out screaming children and airplane engines.