Category Archives: God Hates Me

The allergy I forgot about

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If I had a Med-alert bracelet my allergies would read: cats, walnuts, penicillin, nature, fragrances and stupid people. I’ve just remembered that I should probably add “dog snot” to the list – something I forgot about until an unfortunate situation occurred.

Yesterday, I played with Fats while peering at Townie Baby, then went to Emily’s to eat ice cream cake and play with Shu-Mai, my stay-in-bed lady companion. There was a lot of dog playing and zero hand washing. When I got home, while talking to my dad, I rubbed my eyes, knowing I shouldn’t do so without having washed my hands first. Then, they started to itch more, so I of course started to rub more. Then, they started to burn, along with the area around my eyes. The whole time I was thinking, “Why am I suddenly getting such intense allergies?!”

When I went to the bathroom to check out the situation and wash my hands it finally dawned on me that not only was I rubbing dirty hands in my eyes, but I was also rubbing dog snot all over. Remember this? Well, it wasn’t a one time occurrence, unfortunately. I must now drill it into my mind that if I’m playing with a dog, I must a) never allow it to touch my face with its nose and now b) make sure that if my hands touch its nose, mouth, whatever it is that causes burning, I must not touch any part of my face or neck unless I want this to happen again:

Bloodshot eyes

Hive eyes

Needless to say I frantically searched my room for my allergy eye drops and popped an allergy pill and frantically washed my face and hands to get rid of any remaining dog residue. The saddest part is when I went to show my dad and he told me I shouldn't play with dogs.

Winter allergy fun

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A week ago it was rainy and dreary, this week it’s hot and somewhat miserable. If I don’t leave the house, the heat doesn’t really bother me, because it’s always cold inside.

Well, the unusually warm weather has triggered all sorts of terrific allergies to deal with. I didn’t think to pop an allergy pill prior to my hike in San Mateo today because it was cold indoors when I left, so I assumed it was a cold day out. Then again, it was 8:30 am. As it began to warm up the world decided to release all allergens and attack me in the oddest ways.

1) My thighs started feeling a bit like burning while we were about a mile into the hike. I just figured, “Oh, they’re just my normal, randomly recurring hives.” But then I didn’t feel any bumps come up, and the hives weren’t in their normal spot, so I rolled up my pant legs and tried to see if there were any other bumps, like bug bites that had swelled from my scratching. Nothing. Then the itching became intense and very difficult to ignore, so for the next couple of miles, I would have to interrupt the hike (it was more of a stroll) to stop, pull up my pants, and scratch myself like crazy in front of everyone on the trail. It kept feeling like the itching was traveling up, and sure enough, it started itching around my waist. It may have been the detergent, but I’ll never know because once we started heading back, the itching went away.

2) At Caren’s place, my nose started to itch incessantly. That’s one of the more aggravating feelings in the world. Because it causes me to rub my nose like crazy, repeatedly, and nothing takes away the itch. It’s not internal, it’s external, and it’s maddening, and probably quite disgusting to watch. After a bit of that, my eyes started to itch too. I didn’t have a headache, so I don’t know if it was a fragrance, or if Caren was really harboring a basket of cats somewhere nearby. For over an hour I rubbed my nose in an OCD fashion, and really wished I had taken an allergy pill.

3) Pretty much right after I left Caren’s place, my nose stopped itching, so I assume something at her place was the irritant. Maybe she’s responsible for the thigh itch too – but I don’t want to think about that. So, I was in the clear, but still pretty miserable because it was hot as hell in my car, and hot as hell outside. When I got to Gina’s house to help her move, she flapped her blanket in the air to dust it, and delightfully released fur and feathers into the air. I think there were feathers, unless her dog started growing goose-like tufts as well as its coarse, China fur. Gina immediately realized the error but it was too late. The rest of my time there was spent sneezing and sniffling and REALLY wishing I had allergy pills on me.

Now, I wonder if I should take my doctor’s advice and continuously pop allergy pills, or if I should just suffer so I can have an excuse to blog really uninteresting blogs.

Heat waves hate me

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If heat waves loved me, they would occur on their own time without inconveniencing me in any manner. Unfortunately, heat waves hate me so they’re pretty into making sure they’re going to happen wherever I’m going. After the Pacific Northwest I thought nothing could be that bad – but of course hot weather had to make my visit to LA all that more miserable. Nothing like putting on sunscreen only to immediately sweat it off! In some ways I think it’s preparing me for the heat of Africa, but I’m pretty sure the end result is going to be me dying of heat stroke, with God laughing at me by previously making me miserable under the guise that it would train me for intense weather when in reality he just hates me as much as heat waves do.

Conversation with an Ex with Whom It Ended Badly – Part the 2nd

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So, this has really got to stop happening….

I ran into that guy AGAIN today. Actually, more precisely, I ran into his daughter in the ladies room at the local bookstore. She looked me up and down and said “Oh. You. Hi!”

“Hello…” I responded. “Nice to see you.” I then quickly exited hoping her dad wouldn’t be waiting for her. He was. No escape.

We were actually pretty civil and, fortunately, I’m wearing an extremely work inappropriate outfit today, with a super tight top and skirt, so you know. I got that going for me. Looking hot is the best revenge…or something?

Anyway, I’ve happily settled into a seemingly stable relationship with a new guy (although, I thought that 3 months ago and that guy turned out to be a lying, cheating jerkola, but that’s another sad sigh for another time; remember that I am the Cathy of Sad Sigh) so seeing the ex didn’t have as jarring an effect on me this time as it did last time. Not that I regret getting rid of him, it’s just, you know, being dumped for being too smart has a rather, um, terrible effect on the self-esteem of even the brashest of young ladies, ya dig?

But, universe, just because I’m used to seeing him now doesn’t mean you have to throw him in my face, OK? I get it. He still exists. He didn’t die of heart failure while having sex with someone else. Now let’s all pick up and move on. Because he neither lives nor works in my city, so he has NO REASON for being here so goddamned often. Got it, universe?

You can now reach me at deathspiral@travelcompany.com

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So, for those who don’t know/haven’t guess, I work in travel.  We’ll just call my company Travel Company but you could probably figure it out if you paid attention.  Travel Company is a privately owned, small tour operator that runs group tours to weird places.  Being a small company and being as how the nature of our business is strange anyway, I have become sort of used to doing a random assortment of things for the office.  Technically, my job function is internet marketing, but I spend a lot of my time doing data entry for hotel pricing, sending out visa kits for people going to Turkmenistan, calling our Moscow offices trying to get information out of them despite not speaking a word of Russian, looking up airfare, etc.  I’m your girl friday.


The problem is, of course, that I am both competent and quick (when I’m not skyving off to write in Sad Sigh), which means that my job load just keeps increasing.  And it seems like every time we have a staff changeup, I get a new email address (when the IT guy left I became techsupport@travelcompany.com; when the person who did our data entry got too busy to do it, I became database@travelcompany.com; when we decided to start a FAQ project, I became FAQ@travelcompany.com, etc.).  So when 3 people were laid off two weeks ago, it did not surprise me that I was given another email address to deal with some of the overflow workload left by them.

What did surprise me was that I finally counted up the number that I answer every day and I now have 6 email addresses at work.  6.  6!!!!  That essentially means I have 6 different job functions at a company where every job function is super varied since we are small and weird.

So, I guess feeling like a schizo is just part of the hazards of the job.  Write to me!  Really, pick any working email address @travelcompany.com (obviously, not our real domain) and it’s probably me!  There are only 13 employees now.  There’s like a 46% chance I’ll answer.