So, you remember the dude who dumped me who I wasn’t really dating at the time?
Now we are dating for reals. He is 11.5 years older than me, no lie, but he’s a nice guy so whatever. Age ain’t nothin’ but a number, right, or so said the late, great, Aaliyah?
Wrong.
It’s a little creepy when your new boyfriend starts referring to you as “the 7 year old [he] took to the prom.” As in, this is his idea of a laugh riot. But it’s not mine.
Okay.
After a bit of blog wandering, (starting from here, and then through here, and ending up here), I’ve officially signed myself up for a Crazy Blind Date. This is a date where the company contacts you within 24 hours of your prospective date via text message, and matches you up with someone who fits your criteria.
Nuts? Probably. Deliciously evil potential Sad.Sigh material? Definitely.
I mean, as if my life weren’t sad enough, I get to add the extra awkward element of blind dating, to the already-pathetic layer of internet dating, all already on top of the realization that I kind of detest dating in general, and if casual sex weren’t so gauche, the prospect of having to go through a series of dates to find a suitable match might make me want to die.
But I haven’t actually tried it out yet.
Will keep you posted.
So… lo and behold, I get a call from Grace the other day. This is the conversation I had in my head before picking up the phone:
‘WTF?? Grace never calls me. This must be something Sad. Sigh. related. Or else she’s getting me back for vomiting all over myself the last time she was here. Whatever, it’s not like that’s new. I vomit all over myself every time she’s in town. She’s a bitch. Whoops! I missed her call.’
24 minutes later – after calling her back, talking smack, shouting gibberish phrases at each other, and causing her to crash her Mazda Miata into the divider on the 405 (she was going 2 miles an hour)…
‘That Grace sure is a nice girl. But how predictable of her to make me sign back up for that asshole of a site. I don’t blog, friends. I Facebook.’
Well look here! I’ve discovered how to do both! And it only took me about an hour to figure out how the goddamned RSS thingy worked. Wow. I’ve never felt so technologically inept before. I always considered myself rather good with keyboards, cellphones, remote controls, and those digital thingies… what do they call them? Internets? Lo and Behold, I am now my Mom of the new blogger generation.
Sad. Sigh.