Category Archives: Rude As Shit

Bad Carma

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On Friday, after several employees in my company were handed pink slips, I was asked by my boss to stay an extra night in San Francisco so we could meet up Monday to discuss my imminent lay off. Despite dreaming about this for months, if not years, I was still anxious and apprehensive about meeting my fate after almost three years of working at the company that shall not be named. Gradually, over the course of the weekend, and eating and talking with friends, I had basically come to terms with being let go before my desired lay off date (January or February). Instead of thinking about the lost salary for my trip and savings, I began thinking about starting my trip earlier.

So flash forward to Monday. I started work on time from bed and texted my boss to find out when and where we were to meet. When it became apparent that the meeting was not going to happen I found myself sadly “rejoicing” the fact that not only did I slip by with another day’s pay, but that I was going to capitalize off Veteran’s day too. My plan then became to beat traffic going from San Francisco to Sunnyvale, and cash my check while I was at it. I packed up all my stuff, got to my car, looked at it, felt momentary confusion, and then came to accept that some jerk had smashed in my front passenger window. Yes, of the very same door that was very recently damaged by said boss.
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Which moretti do you choose?

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Today I found myself home alone and watching bad t.v. That isn’t uncommon but what made it worse were the texts I got from my brother who is currently taking over my old life in California. Ok so he is not quite taking it over since we share a lot of the same friends (although I think living in my old house and playing with those friends is pretty close to taking over). Anyways, he texted me that he and “our” friends were all together in “our” house. Ann apparently measuring Grace’s crookedness with Caren’s Pinocchio tape measure…

I guess the sad-sigh part is the fact that my friends were all together dorking it up, meanwhile I was home alone because my boyfriend is on some creepass “camping” trip (don’t ask) in New Hampshire. I guess I thought that moving to New York would mean I would always have something to do. Which in theory is correct but it would be nice to have people to do stuff with. Pretty much all my people are in California and I guess I didn’t realize how much I was leaving behind when I moved here until today when they sent me that rude picture that you see. I couldn’t help but think that I should be the moretti creep in the picture! Or at least alongside Daniel…

I’ll lift you back up, gays!

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In the big picture, there was nothing sad about last night’s election results – we elected Barack Obama as our next president. Enough said. Bring on the change.

And yet, in a country where we can overcome eight years of hell and embarrassment – thank god my pledge of ignorance is coming to an end – we’ve suddenly taken a huge step back. I was fearful I had to be ashamed of being an American, but for sure I’m ashamed to be one in the state of California. I’ve always known there were pockets of scary here, but I never really associated them with my neighbors, or people I work with, or the people I went to school with. In my mind, because I had gravitated toward the liberal, I naively assumed the rest of the state was behind me too.

Last night’s feeling of “the rest of them finally get it” turned into sadness as the California results trickled in: Animal rights, yes. Abortion rights, yes. Same-sex marriage, no. What. The. Fuck.

I went to sleep with 62% of the precincts reporting on Prop 8, hoping they had just left out the good ones and woke up at 5 am nervous, and then 10 am disappointed. I was hoping to use this picture as an unusual sign of celebration on this site to rejoice about all the upcoming gay weddings I would attend with open bar and copious boys to fulfill my dream of being lifted by a group of gays.

Lifted by a gay on July 4th

Instead, with sadness, I will have to use this picture to encourage people to come lift me at MY future wedding, which is rude. Or, I can promise to do more next time to help lift up my gays, if not for equal rights for everybody, then for my growing obsession of being gloriously lifted. I mean, look at that picture, look at how happy I am. And fuck you, 52%, for denying my right to lifted by gays, single or married (but preferably married because the more gays to lift, the better).

When it rains, it pours

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Without identifying what I do, where I work, and who I am, in the past week the following things happened to me in no particular order:

1) I was not paid. This was not the first time I was late getting paid. It will certainly not be the last. I drove 25 minutes to the company’s bank to cash my check as I did not want to risk it bouncing.
2) My office was evicted. I now work from home. It was 88 degrees today. I have no A/C at home.
3) I had a movie moment when upon dropping off my boss, she opened the passenger door, and a biker slammed into it. Nobody was hurt, the biker scolded my boss and rode off. My door, on the other hand, did not fair as well. Brought it to the shop today and the window made a bad noise rolling up and down, the door didn’t shut all the way, and the window tint was scraped. Upon loosening the inner panel, a chunk of foam fell out. Closer inspection showed the door hinge had also snapped. I don’t want to find out how much it will cost. My poor car still smells like new (or manure, depending on who you are); these are its first war wounds.

So, sorry Dennis. While you were out drinking with those who lost their jobs, I was without internet helping pack up my office, unable to comment on your posts. You passive-aggressive, smooth, flat surfaced SOB.