You Can’t Win in the Northern Hinterlands

Back in January I was convinced I was suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder, a disease whose existence I first learned of on Northern Exposure (you remember that episode where Walt got addicted to his lightbox?).  Yeah, you know.  SAD.  (Sigh).  I would come home from the library after a mere 6 hours of sunlight exhausted, collapse into bed and nap for hours.  I looked forward to summer when I was told the depression/exhaustion would lift and I would finally be able to, you know, not sleep 13 hours a day.

So now, as we approach the summer solstice, you’d think I’d be happy.  The sun doesn’t set until almost 10pm and it’s only the beginning of May!

Yet I find now I’m wide awake with the sun streaming onto my face at 6.30 in the morning.  I have more energy at 6.30 in the morning than I usually have all day.  I’m bouncing off walls until about noon – usually when I have to start a shift at the deli – when my body realises that it’s been tricked and I should still be sleeping.

My point is this:  You just can’t win.

2.5 litres of water

boomSome say that the office/cubicle life is shallow and unfulfilling. There’s a phrase associated with people that make such seemingly negative observations: “no shit sherlock!” If you’re like me, the office is all you got. It encompasses your life 9-10 hours a day without respite. Sometimes it even holds you hostage keeps you company on the weekend. Often times late at night when you should be doing this thing called “socializing,” whatever the fuck that is.

At some point over my two years here, each day sitting at my desk each day with that famous blank look on my face, I started to notice things. Strange wonderful things like the perfect way to slouch so no one can see that your eyes are shut and you don’t have to support you neck while you sleep. You learn things about people like who not to shake hands with because you sit close enough to the bathroom to know who doesn’t wash before going back to work.

It was another bathroom observation I made recently. I tend to make bathroom observations…

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