Category Archives: Stupid

Looking like the octo-mom on a sunday morning

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So last night I had planned to stay in and relax, watch the RuPaul’s Drag Race Reunion show, and figure out a plan for my life – yes, all in one night. But in a quarter life crisis haze (“in a few years i’ll be too old to go out!”) I decided to meet up with my friends. I think I was being punished because by the time I met up with everyone they were pretty drunk already, and while dancing with one of the drunkest girls she accidentally slammed her head into my mouth. I left early since I was afraid to continue drinking with a fresh wound in my mouth, and with a straight up busted lip and blood trickling down into my teeth even I knew I was not appropriate to be out in public- even in the dark.

I woke up this morning looking like octo-mom fresh after a collagen injection! I actually don’t mind it to much, and if anyone at work asks me what happens I’ll respond in an Amy Sedaris fashion and say “I finally met a guy, and I think we’re in love!”

EDIT: I forgot to mention, when I told Lesley about this she called me octo-fag =/

Oh Meme-oh, oh my-oh.

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So, I Wikipedia’d Meme yesterday, specifically looking for the definition of an internet meme.  Suffice it to say that it led to one of the shameful Wiki Death Spirals that happen once in a while, (you know it… when you start looking up one thing on Wikipedia: Lexicon of Everything True, and then it leads to clicking on a related link or term, and then another, and another, and somehow they always lead back to the US Senate for me).

This particular Wiki Death Spiral went from meme (cultural ideas, symbols or practices passed along in a viral, and evolutionary manner), to internet memes (the hamster dance, &c), to ‘All Your Base Are Belong To Us‘ (I… have no words.  YouTube it.  Spread the meme).  Needless to say, when AYBABTU came out in the early part of the decade, me and many other 19 year-olds thought that the internet could not possibly surpass this genius creation.  This was before Wikipedia itself.  Before blogging, (read: Sad.Sigh), before YouTube, before the Book of Face.  Hell… I’m pretty sure this was even before Muffin Films, (GOD.  Remember those??).  Needless to say, the internet has far exceeded my meager expectations.  (Although, I’m sure we all miss Audio Satellite.)

The point being, I’ve had the techno version of ‘All Your Base Are Belong To Us’ stuck in my head for the last 26 hours, and would like it out, please.

Meta: Idle thoughts

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I should be writing a Sad Sigh about how 3″ of snow has virtually killed Seattle, causing buses to attempt to fly and causing me to wait 40 minutes in 20F weather this morning as bus after packed bus passed me because King County Metro can’t get its fucking act together. I could also talk about how SAND and SALT are not the same things and how whiny Seattlites get when I point out that a little NaCL spread nice and thick on our roads would prevent buses from trying to fly. They say “But it’s baaaaad for the environnnnmenttttt.” It snows 3 days a year here at most and you know what else is bad for the environment? Cities. 3 days of laying down some damn salt isn’t going to kill all the trees in the Evergreen State.

Anyway, that’s not why I’m writing. I’m writing because as I was one of the few people who could make it into work today, it was a pretty slow day and on slow days I mostly futz around with AdWords copy and surf around “learning” about CSS and javascript. And then it occurred to me as I mistyped a .com. Someone needs to create a new domain.

Then we could be sad-sigh.vom

Would you like some cheese with my whine?

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So, this is going to be a boring post where basically all I’m going to do is whine. There you go, that’s my warning. Grace said it’ll make me not want to die so much, so I’ll give it a try.

I don’t know why I jumped from one job that I constantly complained about right into another. My last job I loved my work but hated the people. This job the people are nice but the work isn’t quite matched with my skillset or interest, which I should’ve known but I was just determined to get a new job. I think I want out of the non-profit arts, start-up mentality world. I think I need a “get well” job even though I’m not in rehab or anything. Maybe working at a cute little bookstore in the Castro where I can’t take any work home with me, and have time to really focus on my social life (priorities, bitch!) and some creative projects on the side.

I was home in San Jose last weekend and out at this gay club called Splash and I realized San Jose gays are weird! But then I started thinking what if I just stayed in San Jose, and grew into one of them; shaved my head, got a tattoo on my neck and still plucked my eyebrows. Maybe I would fit in? They seemed so happy…

Nah, I’m much more of the trashed out, drugged up, screaming queen San Francisco type. Or maybe I should move to the desert like I’ve been feeling so compelled to do for some reason (I wonder what desert gays are like?!)

All I know is I need more excitement in my life. While I was at Splash dancing with some guy that I didn’t even like who left HIS SWEAT STAINS ON MY SHIRT, my best friend was texting me about her threesome with 2 Aussie guys in Las Vegas. Bitch.

Hmm, my wanting-to-die meter went down from like an 8 to a 7. Maybe you’re right about this sad.sigh posting thing, Grace.;) Sorry guys, you might just be hearing more from me in the next few days…