Trashy
Financial Crisis!
Last night I actually kissed a piece of mail for the first time.
I got my check for my 2nd job. It was 5 days late. I kissed it because I had been freaking out all week. I don’t get paid until next Wednesday and I had $30 in my bank account and no food. There [...]
How I Know I’m Really Unhappy
…I just applied for a job in West Virginia.
But it’s 25% European travel. So that’s OK right? I’d just have to be based in West Virginia. Right? RIGHT?!
Pedophilia: Hilarious!
So, you remember the dude who dumped me who I wasn’t really dating at the time?
Now we are dating for reals. He is 11.5 years older than me, no lie, but he’s a nice guy so whatever. Age ain’t nothin’ but a number, right, or so said the late, great, Aaliyah?
Wrong.
It’s a little [...]
Drunk happens
Sometimes you end up DDing your drunkass friends back from Long Beach and when you park, you find this:
Thank god for StrongCannon who, despite the shock of seeing “jingle jangles”, managed to pull Harp out of my car and into the backseat of a Kia where he remained passed out, ass in the air, until [...]
Bathmats and barfing
What is it about a bathmat that makes it a perfect target for vomit? Is it the little tufts of yarn that scream out, “Spew on me, I’m inpossible to clean!” or the fact that they tend to be positioned within close proximity to the toilet, the logical place to yak? I ask this because [...]